Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
