I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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