i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
