I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am one with the molecules
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
