my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
