It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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