why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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