so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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