his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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