never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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