I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat