Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver