Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.