he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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