I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
