Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
