No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
