How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
