I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize