I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
