I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we made out on top of his cat.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
