Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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