Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
