I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he thought i was a dude.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
