Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have aggressive nipples.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
