Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
