After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
