the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
