Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
do nipples grow back?
send nudes
from the living room?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
