That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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