it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
