I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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