TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
