you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
