Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
