yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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