is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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