So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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