I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
