You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
