Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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