One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
