Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
