I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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