id be glad to
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is wine microwaveable?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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