Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
