she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
