between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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