just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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