Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
