is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
