I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
