You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
