Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
