he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
