When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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