I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
