If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
