Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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