Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
