so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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