You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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