Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
