I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My breasts were aching with rage.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
