I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize