You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
