I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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