we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
