2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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