I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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