Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
