Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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