He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
