apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize