Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
