hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
