Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
